re-solving.
one of the problems that I’ve felt more aware of recently is:
When somebody “finds their voice” it usually means that (partially at least) they’ve found an audience.
That’s a good thing right?
I guess partly it is. Because the thing about an audience (and a relationship and an upbringing and any membership) is that once you’ve found them – they maintain their delight whenever you do the thing for them again that made them love you.
When they recognize you for who they knew you to be -- then (!) they see you.
But if you venture too far away from what you should have been than they cannot see you at all. You become invisible. So its a bad thing too...
Because the problem for the author / the individual / the child / the member --> is that we cannot be human like this. We cannot continue in an endless repetition. We cannot always, over and over again, be who others expect us to be.
I wrote about this dilemma on my last birthday like this:
The thing is humans need to grow and change – and if we find that our stories do not accommodate growth and change – then we rigidify. We become an instantiation of our own story. A puppet in the service of our past. A metaphor that illuminates a myth.
I preach the answer to this quandary from the bully pulpit of my classroom as "finding the delicate balance of invention and convention...."
but i'm seeing right now that there's more there than that. There's all these issues of Faithfulness. and True Essence. and Vocation (which, yes, I remember, is not something we talk about here at the BackBurner...but...it turns out we tend to think about it alot.) Convention and Invention refer to the generic formulas we employ to keep our audience's attention, but the delicate balance between Authenticity and Expectations seems like a slightly different dialectic....
so anyway....
these are the kind of things I think about when I think about new years resolutions. These and how late can I put off my hundred pushups tonight and still be doing them every single day of the new year.
peace~
When somebody “finds their voice” it usually means that (partially at least) they’ve found an audience.
That’s a good thing right?
I guess partly it is. Because the thing about an audience (and a relationship and an upbringing and any membership) is that once you’ve found them – they maintain their delight whenever you do the thing for them again that made them love you.
When they recognize you for who they knew you to be -- then (!) they see you.
But if you venture too far away from what you should have been than they cannot see you at all. You become invisible. So its a bad thing too...
Because the problem for the author / the individual / the child / the member --> is that we cannot be human like this. We cannot continue in an endless repetition. We cannot always, over and over again, be who others expect us to be.
I wrote about this dilemma on my last birthday like this:
The thing is humans need to grow and change – and if we find that our stories do not accommodate growth and change – then we rigidify. We become an instantiation of our own story. A puppet in the service of our past. A metaphor that illuminates a myth.
I preach the answer to this quandary from the bully pulpit of my classroom as "finding the delicate balance of invention and convention...."
but i'm seeing right now that there's more there than that. There's all these issues of Faithfulness. and True Essence. and Vocation (which, yes, I remember, is not something we talk about here at the BackBurner...but...it turns out we tend to think about it alot.) Convention and Invention refer to the generic formulas we employ to keep our audience's attention, but the delicate balance between Authenticity and Expectations seems like a slightly different dialectic....
so anyway....
these are the kind of things I think about when I think about new years resolutions. These and how late can I put off my hundred pushups tonight and still be doing them every single day of the new year.
peace~
posted by Redbaerd at 10:31 PM
1 Comments:
I must be pre-mentrual.
This post made me cry.
We cannot continue in an endless repetition. We cannot always, over and over again, be who others expect us to be. I have been thinking about this, again and again, the closer I get to my 35th BD which is nearly upon me. 35. It's apparently not so old. And yet. I read your post about Rob and I understand. Trying to find that space within which my authenticity is wholly my own or as close to "wholly" as it can be. The expectations of others have rounded me out my entire life. So much to learn. Turning to faith. I yearn to understand this, yet what will be required of me? Fearful that I cannot stand beneath the weight of living in faith. A struggle against expectations and perceived expectations.
Thank you for your words. Always a gift.
Post a Comment
<< Home