feeling good - but only for a moment

just read over some blogs after getting an email from a friend who just read -- wondering what he encountered... and realized that i felt the same way this morning as I did on July 23rd. Anyone have a sign / astrology / a portent / anything that can explain this continuity. What makes people feel good?

for me? this morning? a great intimate / kind email from a good friend. the crisp cold of autumn and the fierce blue of the sky. class held downtown at muggswigz.

But then I had to be an *advocate* for openness and dialogue in faculty senate. I love the people in faculty senate -- but it, like any senate, reflects the complexity of living in institutions. Not my favorite feature of human existence right now... (in case you *haven't* read any of the last hundred blogs! Thanks for the affirmation, Marcaus, on these feelings....it meant a lot to have a simpatico spirit so far away)

And now I don't feel the smile of the universe anymore.

Hopefully my kids -- who I'm about to spend an hour with -- will show me the joy of being alive....

Peace~

But

so much to write - so little time

I've been thinking about:

our new house -- spent three hours there with a house inspector last night.

vocation - endless conversations with college students constantly destabilizes my sense of rootedness in my work. (ironic, eh?)

rootedness / commitment / community - the house inspector asked last night how long we would stay in the house. Lynn and I looked at each other. Vague, restrained panic registering on our faces. We can't answer *that* question. *that's* the answer we don't give.

making choices = opportunity = eliminating other opportunities.

the weather is more beautiful than ever, but...

too many people are sick and depressed to number...

Being a Good Parent / Going To Work. Greg and I had a bang up conversation about this topic a few weeks back.

Staying in the Moment / Owning the Now / Being Ambitious / Being Intentional.

Whose purpose? Who's driving? Who's life?

(no I haven't read it and I won't. Don't take it personally. I haven't smoked a cigar or been to a Christian book store in five years either (when do you get your "second virginity" with Christian bookstores anyway?). It's kind of like Jonathon M. in college who just decided that a certain sidewalk was sacred and didn't walk on it. Ever. Until the day he graduated. It was an awkward sidewalk too. Sometimes you'd be walking in a group, and all of the sudden you'd go, Where's Jonathon? And then you'd go. Oh. The Sidewalk.)

Class in twenty minutes. Hmmm. Should I prep more? Should I keep writing...