Comings and...Goings(?)

Cliff and Mary successfully bore Jackson Grey into the world.

I talked to the on the telephone last night.

Cliff is responding like I did to the enormous precariousness of just keeping this small bit of flesh alive. Which seems crazy, but seemed so monumental to me. Lynn and Mary both were somehow able to recognize the resilience of babies more clearly then I was / and now Cliff is.

But all day on Wednesday last when Mary was in labor -- my largest back burner was obsessing about the astonishing interminglingness of death and life in humanness.

My father in law was very sick. And I felt this large sense of dread. My intuition was at +10 that loss was going to counterbalance the arrival of Jackson and the celebration.

Nothing so far -- but I've felt very raw each time I hear about loss in other places -- on the news -- in Palestine -- a friend of a friend...

The world feels so temporary, and I feel so attached to it in these moments...