Nobody's Called Me.
Its disappointing, but it's true.
I, along with much of humanity have been searching for my destiny. If you read back through this entire blog, you'll find at least five posts that do nothing but writhe on the skewer of calling / vocatio / destiny....et. al.
I think its a powerful enough metanarrative that we all WANT to have a calling. To be made for something. To have some entelechial potential.
But the other day I realized that CALLING is really just an ideograph, a metaphor which helps us unify a number of cultural discourses in a way that helps us make sense of our life. That helps us establish a unity within the swirls of fabric that seem so patched together.
But the truth is:
Nobody's called me to anything.
I've radio'd heaven. I get mixed signals. i move the antenna. I switch the channels.
but....
nothing.
I've prayed for a calling. Listened for a calling. Blustered confidence that i'd heard one. I've asked friends for callings. I've read books about it, heard talks about it, studied it, but....
nothing.
So, today, I'm giving up the quest. And the word. Retiring that jersey.
(at least for now)
It's not that I think everybody should join me in dropping out, either. It definitely seems like a noble quest -- and I'm quite sure that for every me-not-hearing-any-calling...there are twenty callings that are not only worthy, but also spectacular in their revelation.
I'm parting ways with the metanarrative, but I think I'll always be dazzled by it. Always a little breathless at its incarnations.
So next time you talk about *calling* around me, don't monitor yourself, or stop your sentence in the middle. I *do* want to hear about your quest or receipt -- you'll just understand now why I'm raising my eyebrow when you start the story...
peace~
I, along with much of humanity have been searching for my destiny. If you read back through this entire blog, you'll find at least five posts that do nothing but writhe on the skewer of calling / vocatio / destiny....et. al.
I think its a powerful enough metanarrative that we all WANT to have a calling. To be made for something. To have some entelechial potential.
But the other day I realized that CALLING is really just an ideograph, a metaphor which helps us unify a number of cultural discourses in a way that helps us make sense of our life. That helps us establish a unity within the swirls of fabric that seem so patched together.
But the truth is:
Nobody's called me to anything.
I've radio'd heaven. I get mixed signals. i move the antenna. I switch the channels.
but....
nothing.
I've prayed for a calling. Listened for a calling. Blustered confidence that i'd heard one. I've asked friends for callings. I've read books about it, heard talks about it, studied it, but....
nothing.
So, today, I'm giving up the quest. And the word. Retiring that jersey.
(at least for now)
It's not that I think everybody should join me in dropping out, either. It definitely seems like a noble quest -- and I'm quite sure that for every me-not-hearing-any-calling...there are twenty callings that are not only worthy, but also spectacular in their revelation.
I'm parting ways with the metanarrative, but I think I'll always be dazzled by it. Always a little breathless at its incarnations.
So next time you talk about *calling* around me, don't monitor yourself, or stop your sentence in the middle. I *do* want to hear about your quest or receipt -- you'll just understand now why I'm raising my eyebrow when you start the story...
peace~
posted by Redbaerd at 7:23 AM
2 Comments:
It probably won't come like a bolt out of the blue. You must go out and search for your calling for yourself, not wait for it. That's what I did.
You know, I don't know of many people who knew what their calling was while doing it; often people realize what their calling was in retrospect. That doesn't mean you don't acheive it. Perhaps you don't know what your calling is because if you knew, you wouldn't beable to fulfill it... anyway i am just passing through and thought i'd offer a tad bit of food for thought!
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