patience

bumped into this fragment:

Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient, we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, and somewhere else. Be patient and trust that the treasure you are looking for is hidden in the ground on which you stand.

- Henri J.M. Nouwen

and it SO reminded me of the point that i was talking about from the parable of the stewards. I've rarely felt such convergence around my spiritual life and its connection to the rest of my life...

and the wierd thing is how its been sustained in so many small and seemingly unconnected ways for the past few weeks.

But on patience for a moment.

last friday Jaelyn, Addison and I went garage saling. For like four hours. They were even more into it than I was.

I made them chant the four things we were looking for before and after each sale:

1. balls
2. bats
3. mitts
4. helmets

that way if they saw other stuff - i could say -- enh. its not on the list.

in the end we bought:

1. a toy bow and arrow
2. two frog puppets
3. a pottery mug.

but when it was time to go home for lunch, Addison was desperate. We couldn't stop! he insisted. We hadn't found a helmet.

We have to be patient, I reminded him. It's so hard to be patient isn't it?

We should go to a store. He said.

But I reminded him that waiting for the universe to unfold karma in her time would be much better for us. We would learn about waiting, we would remember that good things take time. We would *earn* the helmet.

Ok so i didn't say the stuff about karma. but i thought it.

And later Jaelyn was feeling impatient for dinner. She was persevorating on the point. Daddy, I'm hungry. When is it going to be ready!?

And so we talked about how it had been hard for Addison, because he was only thinking about that helmet.

Being patient means that we choose to let go of the future possibility. The thing we want but don't have and focus on something RIGHT HERE.

.

i have, historically, referred to myself as a gypsy. but suddenly find that i may just be developing some place-roots. which is freaky and not completely comfortable.

the UTNE reader had an article two issues ago about how long it takes to really see something...

and this idea that patience is a prerequisite to seeing is one that I learned a hundred years ago at the Cabin sitting on a rock in the lagoon. And one that I tried to learn while I researched my dissertation at a hundred garage sales, but suddenly it feels so big...

such a vast invitation...