- hollywood crumbles - listening for the Divine -

last year's roommate Katie stopped by yesterday for a long catch-up. it was great to hear her infectious lefter, be regaled by her anecdotes & hear about her plans -- which are nebulous --

this occupational hazard of finding friends in your students -- it turns out -- means that you go through the "vocational" struggle a thousand times more than you (in this case me) already have...

so Katie spent a year in Hollywood and found that the sheen faded quickly. Its been an interesting year for me -- because for years, i have spent so much of my time / energy writing-toward-hollywood -- and yet the sheen was deeply dulled by Katies experience -- and now my friend Gary's financier has backed out of his promised movie -- more darkness falls...

i know that these are archtypal hollywood tales, but i felt ill-prepared to receive them on behalf of MY friends. And unready for how much they would distress my own faraway - exotic - other - midwesterner's - sheen - over - hollywood....

I find it interesting that through such gut-punches to the "original dreams" -- some part of the "dream" usually stays intact -- possibly grows stronger. is that pride and stubbornness? -- or a trustworthy impulse --

For me -- my devotion to storytelling remains undiminished...

Jan (THE Jan, from which Jaelyn's name is half-derived) is in from MN & had dinner with us & ended up crashing here when the thunderstorm started.

She's just started working with a Spiritual Director -- something Lynn and I are very interested in --

This woman suggested that she start by LISTENING for God. And gave her a great word picture.

And so -- of course -- I plied her (Jan) with my summer-long question: but HOW? HOW do we listen for God?

Jan relayed that the woman suggested that the experience would be different for everyone -- some a palpable hearing or feeling or seeing. Some through dreams or ....

And suddenly a light came on for me. I do think that I hear God when WRITING.

Ted called me back to journaling as a discipline earlier this summer when he visited. It was an awkward prophetic moment, as I suppose all friend - prophetic - moments - in - kitchens are --

but for the last month his words have been taking root in me, and when Jan said this -- it felt as if it came together for me.

When I'm writing, I think I'm best at discernment, insight, elaboration.

And I said in an earlier blog I hear God speak through the contours of my life, my story, but that doesn't seem as much an instance of divine INTERVENTION & PRESENCE-- which is really what I'm looking for -- special evidence in an de-magical-ized world.

I'm verging on the sort of blogging that would make Lynn blush because, as she so aptly puts it: "what kind of person would do that? Journal? and then show other people?!"

Mist left behind from the fierce rains of the night is drifting over the trees all around our neighborhood. Its already 6:18 a.m., but it looks like it could be night -- a bright night -- or day -- a dark dark day. I love the in-betweens.

peace~