going public, going meta, going out for diet coke

Just returned from long weekend in Michigan with family and am now committed to going public with this blog (thanks, Marcaus, for the prompting...). Please pardon the "dust", all, because its going to be a work in progress shaping the right links and figuring out what i should and shouldn't say here. Blogs seem to me to be sort of an odd (con)fusion of private and public kinds of disclosure.

I realize that I have a painful tendency to go "meta" when i'm writing in this venue. I tend to constantly wrap layers and layers of commentary around everything I'm saying. I'm sure this is a cultural symptom of something, but I'm not sure what.

So the weekend away was great. Lynn and I have a great tradition of unravelling the experiences of the trip as we ride home together. J & A are at the age where they are able to entertain themselves and each other for long enough gaps that we're just starting to have those conversations again. I must digress for a moment here.

We were pulling out of one of the new 80-90 rest-areas-that-look-like-churches-or-malls-or museums last night and the light was on and Lynn was standing on and over her seat helping the kids settle into the "beds" that we made for them and we passed a cop. He backed out of the median and started following us. We weren't speeding at all, so we're pretty sure that he started following us for Lynn's illegal stand-and-turn. If only he could have seen HOW illegal we were with the kids makeshift beds all sprawled everywhere. Someone needs to make a laying down seatbelt for kids and long trips. Is there such a thing?

So it turns out that not only do i go meta a lot -- I also digress a lot. But if you know me in person, you already knew that...

My favorite times were a family history video session with my grandparents and my dad, a long chat by the pool with my dad & throwing the toddlers around int the pool with my brothers.

The *delight* that they had: splashing, jumping, getting thrown, climbing up the backs and shoulders of uncles: it all seemed so core: as pure as I imagine Plato's idea of the forms to be: something sacred and divine.

I really had a good time smashing together the 30 minute honorific dramatic presentation of my Grandfather's life story. My aunt Nan had written down all the great stories and structured them in four acts. It was up to us to make them theatrical. My sisters in law (and Ryan) have low tolerance levels for Rudd - Theatrical - Performative- Production - Projects. And the show was bumpy -- but a crowdpleaser none the less. from script to stage in 5 hours.

It reaffirmed all of me that IS Max Fisher. Have you NOT seen that movie yet? (DAVID!) Max explains so much of me.

My back burner question for the day is this: are we made for something? And I don't mean are we ALL made for something -- because I know what our chief end is -- and I affirm it. What I mean is -- are we made to DO something? Are we -- as individuals? I'm lamenting / considering / reflecting on my profession and it seems so wrapped up in this question of -- but am I doing the BEST thing? Is this the RIGHTEST that I can get it?

This year the water at our cottage was Incredibly Low this year. So low, in fact that, for the first time in my life, I found the Fresh (very cold) water springs that feed the lake near the shore (well -- they were kinda ON the shore at low tide this year). The experience seemed seminal (did you hear that Kristy? Jared? ) and deep (not literal). These springs were so -- i know its corny, but -- inspiring! They were just these ridiculous little bubbles of water -- that looked like a broken drinking fountain -- no bigger (until you stepped into them). But you look up and there's a LAKE in front of you. A BIG lake. A lake that is connected to Lake Huron -- which is also just fed by these little miniscule -- ridiculously poignant bubbles.

And so I journalled:

I was thinking that every person must have SPRINGS inside of them. That some things must feed us just because that’s where they are in our souls. Aren’t there some currents some bubbles in us that are OURS only and not simply products of the world out of which we were borne? Some desires that we have, some gifs that we offer that don’t come only from the people who shaped us and the places where we’ve been? Shapes that are somehow essentially ours?

But I'm not sure of it -- and i have lots more to say, but I have to off-to-marcs to stock up on Diet Coke (5 cases for 10 dollars). And I KNOW that I shouldn't like Coke. Jakki did a speech all last year about aspartame (which is just in diet) and J. Baker had THIS on his site today. SOMETIME -- i need to dedicate SEVERAL back burners to this subject -- how do we consume faithfully in a world that's already overglobalized and overly branded....!?!?

please do send responses if you have them!

peace~

p.s. am hungry & headed home to supp -- and the email leading to this article plopped into my box -- my friend Cliff has nothing but good things to say -- All The Time. I read whatever he writes -- and you may want to, too.

p.p.s. deke & kelly had a baby, too! all these babies pouring forth from the universe! the world is bursting with invention and possibility. how will we ever get the world ready for them in time? how will we ever get ourselves ready for them in time? we probably won't be quite ready, Anna, but we're glad to have you all the same! we hope the rudds get the opportunity to lavish half as much love and laughter on you as your parents have generously given addison & jaelyn!