a critique of birthday celebrations...and the possibility of unique selfhood
i turned 34 last week. on the one hand, I agree with birthday critics. birthdays should not be celebrated because they only signify the very dubious achievement of: --> congratulations! you managed to stay alive.
those critics (with whom i partially agree) would advocate celebrating anniversaries, promotions, ordinations, graduations, achievements. it seems like if we weren't so fixated on birthdays then we could devote a lot more time to celebrating the things people actually do, eh?
but alas, i do not *simply* agree with these critics -- because on the other hand -- aren't birthdays more than just celebrations of selfhood? aren't they actually a ritual which affirms the social world in which the individual exists and is embedded. isn't it a mutual celebration of accomplishment? where the community says, Hey! Look who we managed to keep alive for another year!
Skylark gets a big honorable mention for celebrating my existence / our relationship in a limin-flavored way.
i was going to post some pictures of her vast array of limin flavored gifts -- but alas -- i'm having trouble publishing photos right now.
it felt very overwhelming to be so remembered by a student. students can often live toward their teachers as if they were simply teachers and less-so-people. (not that i'm bitter about that! isn't that what the system teaches us to do?!) so within such a normative context -- her thoughtfulness was extraordinary.
And my parents and my brothers and sisters and my coworkers and my wife (all bringing very thoughtful gifts and words and presence) and even my daughter (who made about fifteen imaginary cakes for me for my birthday) and several very dear friends from far away who called.
The whole thing has the final effect not of drawing my attention to who i have been and who i might just grow to be (which would be what would happen if the birthday critics took over) but to who i am to these people and who they are to me.
And that feels richer and more rewarding than all the ideals of the truly free, truly enlightened liberal individual, eh?
those critics (with whom i partially agree) would advocate celebrating anniversaries, promotions, ordinations, graduations, achievements. it seems like if we weren't so fixated on birthdays then we could devote a lot more time to celebrating the things people actually do, eh?
but alas, i do not *simply* agree with these critics -- because on the other hand -- aren't birthdays more than just celebrations of selfhood? aren't they actually a ritual which affirms the social world in which the individual exists and is embedded. isn't it a mutual celebration of accomplishment? where the community says, Hey! Look who we managed to keep alive for another year!
Skylark gets a big honorable mention for celebrating my existence / our relationship in a limin-flavored way.
i was going to post some pictures of her vast array of limin flavored gifts -- but alas -- i'm having trouble publishing photos right now.
it felt very overwhelming to be so remembered by a student. students can often live toward their teachers as if they were simply teachers and less-so-people. (not that i'm bitter about that! isn't that what the system teaches us to do?!) so within such a normative context -- her thoughtfulness was extraordinary.
And my parents and my brothers and sisters and my coworkers and my wife (all bringing very thoughtful gifts and words and presence) and even my daughter (who made about fifteen imaginary cakes for me for my birthday) and several very dear friends from far away who called.
The whole thing has the final effect not of drawing my attention to who i have been and who i might just grow to be (which would be what would happen if the birthday critics took over) but to who i am to these people and who they are to me.
And that feels richer and more rewarding than all the ideals of the truly free, truly enlightened liberal individual, eh?
posted by Redbaerd at 9:28 AM
<< Home