do i have big stories inside?

Here’s how I feel today:

(is this a danger of public journaling? Feeling out loud in public? Especially when a sentence is modified with the word, “today?”)

I feel like a reasonably disciplined and moderately talented writer who doesn’t have any stories to tell.

I mean that’s not true. I feel like I have plenty of stories to tell.

But no GRAND IMPORTANT PERFECT stories.

So what does that mean? Should I not write toward big audiences? Should I stick to my blog? Should I write short stories for obscure literary journals?

I guess its just that I’ve worked hard enough on enough stories to know what it feels like when you get to the end of a YEAR of writing a story and realize whats wrong with it. Or you get to the end of several years of writing and revising a story and you realize: well that’s a cool story, and I could fix it – but ultimately it doesn’t SAY anything that I’m that devoted to saying.

But everybody knows that you can’t write stories to make points. If you want to go into that business – you should be a preacher like your father and all your brothers. Or an academic like you’re trained to be…

Anyway, that’s how I feel today…

not bad, just not sure.

peace~