went to the one act festival at malone several times this weekend.

took my dad once.

taking him made me realize how much I love my dad

*&*

how much i love so many students.

i felt a little bit of angst because i knew that the situation prohibited a really meaningful exchange where I could explain to him how much these students i was introducing him to matter to my life --

Toph, Amanda, Trena, Jared, Nathan, Brian, Kelly...

these people bring me so much joy, i wanted to tell him. you'll never believe the promise they hold...the gifts that they have for the universe...the way the intersection of their life with mine brings laughter and frustration and hope and curiousity...

If I aspired to turn the world into slogans and theme weeks -- which i don't think i'd like to do, ultimately {readers breath a sigh of relief} -- then I'd call this "fabric of friendship week" --

it's one of those odd weeks that has a lot of birthdays in it. SUNDAYS on both ends are Marcaus' birthday (yesterday) & Allen's birthday (coinciding with my debate trip to his home in Marietta, OH -- are you reading Allen?) and in the middle of the week is Gary (California-Gary, for those who know him thus...)

My mother taught us to celebrate birthdays vigorously in my family. And so I'm thinking about these three men who have been deeply influential in forming me, in caring for me, in developing me. And I'm feeling so rich. So fortunate.

Lynn just called me across campus and said:

Lynn: How are you?

Me: Good. I'm good.

Lynn: What!?

[I laugh]

Lynn: What happened? Are you drunk?

(the last two weeks have not lent many "goods' in response to that question -- I'm in the habit of being honest -- and honesty can only muster up a "okay." in general)

But I'm having all these epiphanies about calling and community -- which I long to blog about later -- but...

at the core, i have this abiding sense that even though my life is chaotic and less enjoyable than normal right now -- and there's too much to do -- and i'm disappointing more people than not --

I still feel keenly the WORTH and VALUE of life because I feel like my life has been stitched together with other lives that matter. and its just as much the stitching as the cloth that matters.

Sheldon VanAuken wrote in a Severe Mercy -- that sometimes the beauty of the world was just too much. That he couldn't take it. And I don't think I *got* that at all. And even though I'm very moved by physical beauty -- in nature, in humans. I'm so much more moved by the beauty of being with...